⚖️ Chronicles of Misrule ⚖️
9 May 2025
A Justicariat in Stages of Rot
The Senate did not confirm Ed Martin—a man whose career has the distinct odor of hot dog water and vengeance—to be U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia. But relief is fleeting in the Trumpian Restoration, where each discarded malignancy re-emerges with three new titles and a corner office.
- Associate Deputy Attorney General – Minister Without Portfolio but With Prejudice
- U.S. Pardon Attorney – Warden of the Redemption Racket
- Director of the Weaponization Working Group – Orwell’s ghost now demanding royalties
Swapping a Thug for a Thespian
Before Martin’s tenure expired, Trump replaced him with Jeanine Pirro—Fox News banshee and stemware enthusiast. Though the Wall Street Journal claimed, “Pirro is a more conventional choice than Martin,” this is like saying the guillotine is more conventional than a bear trap.
She is the 23rd Fox News personality to receive a government appointment under Trump—not for credentials, but for ratings.
Fun fact: Trump pardoned her ex-husband for tax fraud. Very on brand.
Rotating Appointments, Rotting Legitimacy
By rotating Martin and Pirro like cast members on a cursed soap opera, Trump circumvents Senate confirmation entirely. Legal experts clutch their pearls as defense attorneys begin drafting motions citing “The Host of Justice with a Wine Glass” as grounds for dismissal.
The Voting Rights Section has been repurposed to investigate “voter fraud” and “suspicion”—a mission so vague it could prosecute a hangnail. This is not oversight; it’s a ghost hunt funded by taxpayer dread.
“America has, with stunning speed, descended into a world in which opponents of the government fear criminal investigations, lawsuits, tax audits… even Republican politicians are ‘scared’ out of their minds about death threats.”
— Levitsky, Way, & Ziblatt
The Purges Continue
- Library of Congress: Carla Hayden fired for the sin of literacy and dignity.
- FEMA: Cameron Hamilton sacked after admitting FEMA might be useful.
- Pentagon: Trans service members removed en masse—justice delayed is bigotry expedited.
No comments:
Post a Comment