The Panican Ledger

The republic, that wheezing bellows, spent another week converting folly into policy and policy into price tags. Below find a tidy enumeration of calamities, suitable for pasting into the family scrapbook between Grandma’s ration cards and last year’s hurricane prep list.

Trade

“Only the Shampoo Must Suffer”: The Stealth Tariff Addendum

400+ British products suddenly discover the American taste for customs duties

Washington’s tariff roulette wheel clicked once more and landed on miscellany: washing machines, shampoos, motorcycles, and even the toddler’s furniture. The merry twist? Assessments hinge on metal bits tucked within—an accountant’s picnic and an exporter’s migraine.

Progress, in this telling, is a pile of forms atop a stack of invoices balanced on a sea‑freight delay.

Household

Back‑to‑School, Forward‑to‑Prices

Parents meet the tariff gremlin at the stationery aisle

Retailers whisper sweet nothings about holding the line on “select items,” but the ledger tells a harsher tale: families budgeting princely sums to kit out scholars, while economists note the tariff bite creeping into inflation like moths into a winter coat.

The American parent: part-time supply-chain analyst, full-time payer of other people’s trade strategies.

Foreign Parts

The Alaska Curtsy: Many Signals, Little Peace

Diplomacy’s waltz continues; the band plays the same bar

Following the Alaska tête‑à‑tête, Washington vows to “accelerate” negotiations as if velocity alone births miracles. Moscow, meanwhile, appears content to sip victory‑tea until reality proves otherwise. Kyiv declines the pawnshop.

Tempests

Erin, a Category Five Grande Dame

The first hurricane of 2025 bows offshore and still flips the deck chairs

Erin spun herself into the record books, mercifully far from land yet quite near enough to close beaches, kick up rip currents, and remind us that the Atlantic is presently a hot bath with delusions of grandeur.

Advice from the Lifeguard of History: even a distant storm can rearrange your week.

Bureaucracy

Papers, Please: Medicaid & CHIP Acquire a New Magnifying Glass

Citizenship/immigration checks go monthly; the paperwork goes mountainous

CMS announced a nationwide verification push—monthly reports, database cross‑checks, and enough acronyms to fell a modest spruce. Advocates foresee eligible patients tangled in red tape; officials promise “integrity,” that most elastic of virtues.

The Courts

Oregon, Suing as a Service

The Beaver State’s 37th filing and counting

Somewhere in Salem a quill squeaks: yet another suit chalked against the federal ledger. At roughly five filings a month, one wonders if the Attorney General now issues commemorative punch cards—“Sue nine, the tenth is free.”

Editor’s Note: If you detect a theme—tariffs masquerading as industrial policy while families foot the bill—you are not alone. Kindly direct all complaints to the Ministry of Unintended Consequences.

Sources & Clippings (for the scrapbookers among you)

Tariff expansion to UK products — The Times (UK).
Back‑to‑school prices & tariff pass‑through — The Guardian.
Alaska summit analysis — Brookings.
Hurricane Erin Cat‑5 context — NOAA NESDIS, Yale Climate Connections, Washington Post.
CMS Medicaid/CHIP verification — CMS Press Release.
Oregon litigation pace — Oregon Capital Chronicle.

🗞The Week That Was (or Wasn’t)