The Panican Ledger

The Tariffman's Toll

Chapter VIII
The Second Coming of Smoot-Hawley

Now with Fewer Economists, Less Reading, and Considerably More Hats

In the annals of poor decisions, one finds the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930, nestled comfortably among other catastrophes—leeching for fevers, prohibition for public health, and powdered wigs in humid climates.

It was, by all accounts, a disaster:

Raised tariffs on over 20,000 imports.

Invited retaliations from trade partners.

Helped turn a stock market crash into a Great Depression.

Naturally, nearly a century later, it has been reborn.

Not as a cautionary tale, but as blueprint.

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Act I: History Rhymes Like a Drunken Poet

In this new era, tariffs are once again brandished like broadswords—clumsy, conspicuous, and aimed squarely at one’s own foot.

The distinction?  Smoot and Hawley at least consulted economists.

Today’s tariff architects consult cable news, poll numbers, and a deep, unshakable conviction that facts are elitist.

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Act II: The Cult of the Suffering Patriot

Economic pain, once a problem to be solved, is now a badge of honor.

“Yes, it costs more,” say the faithful.

“But it’s American pain. Noble pain. Bald eagle–certified hardship!”

Manufacturers suffer. Farmers scream. Consumers groan.

But the Tariffman smiles, for the charts still point up - though no one knows what the axes represent.

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Act III: The Price of Exceptionalism

Once again, the world responds.

Allies raise their own barriers. Supply chains reroute. Prices rise. Innovation stalls.

But where Smoot-Hawley was repealed and studied, the modern sequel is met with applause.

“Finally,” cry the commentators, “someone is standing up to globalism.”

Yes—by standing on a rickety box marked DO NOT STAND HERE, yelling "MAGA" into the wind.

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Conclusion

History does not always repeat. But when it rhymes, it is often because someone is humming the same bad tune.

And now we hum once more:

Tariffs on inputs. Tariffs on allies. Tariffs on air, if it smells too foreign.

This is not new. It is simply Smoot-Hawley 2: Now With Hats.

Stop pretending his robes are made of strategy.