The Week That Was (Or Wasn’t)
September 15–21, 2025
What a week it was, dear readers — a procession of indignities so thick that even the stenographers of Bedlam might hesitate to record them. Yet, in service of posterity and our collective incredulity, The Ledger dutifully sets quill to parchment.
The Late Jimmy Kimmel
The week began with the “cancellation” of Jimmy Kimmel — not the ordinary show-business sort, but the political guillotine kind. His show shuttered under pressure from the regime, a cautionary tale to any entertainer who dares to tell a joke not pre-screened by courtiers in MAGA livery. The chill upon comedy is palpable: laughter itself now requires a permit, embossed with an eagle clutching a golf club.
A Crackdown in Search of a Cause
From Hollywood’s dimmed lights we pivot to Washington’s darker corridors, where the Trump administration flirted openly with designating liberal and progressive non-profits as “terrorist organizations.” Thus the Red Cross and the PTA may soon find themselves in the company of al-Qaeda, their bake sales subject to federal interdiction, their car washes wiretapped.
Tea with the King
Next came the curious spectacle of President Trump’s visit to Buckingham Palace. His Majesty endured the encounter with the sort of strained courtesy reserved for gouty relatives and intrusive plumbers. Trump emerged beaming, convinced he had secured not only Britain’s loyalty but possibly the monarchy itself — a merger he proposed to rename “The United Trumpdom.”
The Price of Silence
Revelations trickled forth that Tom Homan, that stout tribune of deportations, had once pocketed a $50,000 bribe. A Department of Justice investigation was swiftly smothered with a Trump-branded pillow. One must admire the efficiency: bribery and exoneration conducted in the same fiscal quarter!
The Vaccinophobe Rides Again
Robert F. Kennedy Jr., still astride his rickety steed of pseudoscience, thundered against vaccines with all the fervor of a medieval barber recommending bloodletting. His followers nodded solemnly, as if polio were but a fairy tale told by Big Pharma to frighten children into washing their hands.
Arithmetic by Hyperbole
The President, never one to be constrained by fact, declared that “300 million Americans” had perished of drug overdoses last year. A remarkable feat, given that the population of the United States is but 330 million. By his reckoning, the nation is composed chiefly of ghosts, voting reliably in battalions.
The Venezuelan Vendetta
All the while, American ordnance continued to rain upon Venezuelan vessels — no trial, no hearing, just summary judgment delivered by missile. The administration insists this is not “war” but “extrajudicial nautical housekeeping.” The fish, alas, were not consulted.
The Apotheosis of Kirk
The week closed with a pageant at State Farm Stadium in Arizona: the memorial-cum-deification of Charlie Kirk. Billed as a solemn occasion, it unfolded instead as a professional wrestling spectacular — fog machines, thunderous entrance music, and the President delivering a eulogy equal parts martyrdom, rally cry, and campaign commercial. The faithful wept, shouted hosannas, and purchased merch in bulk.
And thus, the week passed: laughter outlawed, dissent criminalized, monarchs bemused, bribes forgiven, science denied, numbers inflated, ships obliterated, and a fallen pundit canonized with the pomp of Rome and the showmanship of WWE. Truly, America remains the greatest show on earth — though one fears the tent poles are splintering.
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