Chronicles of Misrule

**The Four Freedoms (Reissued & Revised)**

With apologies to Norman Rockwell and the human spirit

“In place of liberty: silence. In place of dignity: survival. In place of Roosevelt’s torch: a budget axe. Celebrate accordingly.”

In that hallowed year of 1941, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt spoke of a world founded on four essential human freedoms — a vision immortalized by Rockwell’s brush, which rendered the heart of the American promise in accessible oils and kitchen-table heroism.

But alas, it is 2025. And we have Donald Trump. And MAGA. And Mike Johnson & Congressional Republicans. So here at the Panican Ledger, we are compelled — nay, conscripted — to offer a contemporary revision. For these are not days of aspiration but of austerity cosplay; not a New Deal, but a No Meal.

Behold, then:

🏥 Freedom from Healthcare

No more shall the sick burden our system! With hospitals shuttered and Medicaid drowned in the bathtub of "fiscal responsibility," Americans are now free — free to manage their chronic conditions with crystals, home remedies, and GoFundMe pages.

“You can’t bankrupt the system if everyone dies first.”

🥄 Freedom to Starve

SNAP cuts, school lunch program disqualifications, and a return to Dickensian caloric rationing — at last, the bloated masses are no longer fettered by bread.

“You’ll eat what you earn. If you can’t earn, perhaps fasting will give you moral clarity.”

🪖 Freedom of Silence

What use is speech in a time of great national peril? Let the Guard stand watch over assemblies. Let dissenters bow their heads in reverence. Let microphones gather dust beside rifles.

“The First Amendment was not meant for the unruly.”

🥷 Freedom to Fear

Masked agents, unbadged detentions, and midnight raids have replaced the bureaucratic sluggishness of due process. The jackboot now wears sneakers — for comfort, efficiency, and plausible deniability.

“If you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve nothing to scream about.”

🗞️ Epilogue: Illustrated by Absurdity

These reissued freedoms are not dreams but documentation — not aspirations but affidavits of decline. Yet the press must publish, the pamphleteer must pamphlet, and so we have done our grim duty.

Celebrate this Independence Day not with fireworks but with candlelight — held vigil over a nation unrecognizable, yet somehow still declaring itself "free."