The Panican Ledger

📜 Mr. Stephen Miller, The Clerk of Cruelty & Scribe of Pale Shadows

Proper Title: Deputy Chief of Staff (among other things)
Epithet: Pee Wee Goebbels
Other Reputations: The Eugenic Intern, The Ghoul of West Executive Avenue, That Which Smiles at Cages

DESCRIPTION:

A specter masquerading as a civil servant, cadaverous and severe, who appears to be fashioned from rejected dental wax and resentment. His hair has long since fled the premises, possibly seeking asylum from the cranium it once adorned. His wardrobe is charcoal and ill-fitting, like a child playing autocrat at his father’s funeral.

He does not walk—he emerges, like mildew or subpoenas.

MANNER AND HABIT:

He speaks with the clipped cadence of a malfunctioning metronome and the affect of a DMV clerk explaining why your child is now property of the state. His eyes do not blink so much as retreat occasionally to their lairs. His handwriting, it is said, causes printers to jam out of spite.

DEEDS MOST FOUL:

Or, The Calculated Mischief of Mr. Miller, Who Sought Not Justice but Judgment

The Architect of State-Sanctioned Separation
Mr. Miller did not stumble into the policy of family separation—he designed it. With precision and intent, he authored memoranda that called for the mandatory prosecution of all who crossed the southern border, regardless of asylum status, age, or cause. The consequence, as he knew it would be, was that children—some still nursing—would be ripped from their parents and caged. And when confronted, Miller did not deny this reality; he defended it as deterrence, as though cruelty itself were a metric of excellence.
The Banishment of Due Process
In perhaps his most chilling flourish, Mr. Miller sought to remove due process altogether for immigrants—proposing policies that would deny hearings, eliminate legal appeals, and grant border agents the unchecked authority to deport anyone they suspected of unworthiness. He scrawled legal fantasies that transformed the U.S. into a realm where habeas corpus could be suspended by whim, and citizenship status itself became a thing revocable by suspicion. In private, he called such protections “loopholes.” In public, he said nothing at all, preferring silence to scrutiny.
The Ban, The Wall, The Bleeding Pen
He was the animating force behind the Muslim Ban, its drafts dripping in the language of fear dressed as policy. He conjured the specter of caravans, disease, and invasion—each lie calibrated for broadcast. And while others chattered about fences, he whispered for walls within the law, barriers of statute and executive decree meant to choke off migration as a matter of racial preference, not security.
He bypassed Congress, flooded agencies with ideological cronies, and once declared that “the powers of the President on immigration are very substantial and will not be questioned.”
The Internal Pogrom
Not content with persecuting the foreign, he also purged the domestic—or sought to. Miller maintained lists, pushed for the ousting of civil servants who displayed “insufficient loyalty,” and attempted to restructure the very organs of state into a mechanism of personal ideology. Loyalty oaths were contemplated; career bureaucrats were threatened. One former colleague described him as a man “with no empathy, no compassion, and no respect for the dignity of human life.”

RUMORED OFFICE DÉCOR:

A globe where every country is labeled “Threat.”
A signed print of the Alien and Sedition Acts
A wall-mounted quote: “No vacancy means no vulnerability.”

LIKELY EPITAPH:

“He kept to himself. Until he didn’t.”
“Most of the skeletons weren’t his. Technically.”
“May this tomb remained locked, and under supervision.”

FUTURE HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE (Presumed, Inevitable):

“Few individuals did more harm with fewer hugs.”